Hi I'm Jacqui, and I lost my Mama and Daddy five months apart, and they were so young. It was so unexpected. I had the opportunity to go to free grief counseling, however every time that I want to call, I would think to myself that every person has to go through this. It's a part of life, the circle of life. At least I had quality time with my parents, some people don't even have that. I don't need counseling, I'm fine. Oh my gosh, I miss my parents every day and it's been over two years.
I knew that it's common for the grief process to take a year or longer. I did not know that a grieving person must resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. I've heard that the griving responses include shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. I feel like I went from shock to acceptance within six months.
You see, you may have already read my story but if not, Mike and I were sailing in the Bahamas, and I talked to my parents regularly, as they were my favorite people on this planet. I got a call that Mama wanted to go to the ER to find out why she was losing so much weight, (because she didn'to believe what her regular doctors were telling her, that she was healthy and just needed to eat) and while there my Dad was admitted for jaundice. The doctors found out that Daddy had pancreatic cancer and Mama was just not eating for because she was scared of getting diabetes. Mama had recently lost the last of her six siblings to heart disease and diabetes and she was scared to get it so shecut her diet in half. I wanted to fly home, but Daddy said to sail the boat back and secure it. So, Mike and I sailed back for eight long days and nights from George Town, Exumas in the Bahamas to Lake Worth, Florida. I was crying the entire way. just because my parents have always been the strongest people in my world and I hated they were having to go through this.
I am so grateful that I got to move home to take care of them, love them, and they got to pass from this world to the next excatly like they wanted. This was a beautiful gift that I was able to give them. However, I had to bury my Mom, who died of a broken heart when she found out Daddy had terminal cancer. Then my Daddy pushed me away to deal with his own feelings of losing his soul mate, of fifty-two years, and coming to terms with his pancreatic cancer. I was so incredibly sad because I wanted to be there with him, for him. A couple of months later, I started getting the feeling that he wasn't doing good. We talked everyday, then I told my Daddy that I was coming home and he said that he was ready. I moved home again, this time take care of him and finally put him to rest. Daddy and I talked a lot about their home. I say their home because I moved out at eighteen and created a life for myself. This home was their dream. Daddy said he wanted me to move back to Alabama and live in their home or sell it and buy a new place somewhere else. He knew I loved Panama and constantly brought it up for an option to retire. I told Daddy that their home was not my house and that I was not moving back to Alabama, so together we planned everything for the sale of their home.
So, I went from shock to acceptance within six months because I had to put both of my young parents to rest at the ages of seventy-two and seventy-three, then I had to sell my childhood home, and I had to close my Daddy's much beloved barber shop, Johnny Sullivan Tonsorial Art. Oh, also my brother is a drug addict that was not even offering to help. Mike was there with me, but I had to do this on my own. These were my memories that I did not want to share. So, I did everything on my own. I never stopped to take a break. I had free counseling offered to me, but each time I was going to call, I rationalized that every person on Earth has to bury their parents. This is the circle of life. So, I just didn't get any help, and like the Alpha woman that I am, I handled the tasks, exceptionally well, and moved on.
However, I found out that I stored the trauma of losing parents in my body and this was no good at all. Throught the process of healing from this trauma this is what I have found.
This book is very powerful and helped me because it allowed me to replace the bad memories I had of my parents bein sick with amazing memeories of us being together and spending quality time together. NLP, Neuro Linguístic Programing helps by reprogramming the mind so that we can see the good, rather than focusing on the bad of what is happening in our lives. I also work with Mike's cousin that is a Licensed NLP Practitioner. It's really good to be able to talk with someone to get the feelings and trauma out.
I believe our deceased loved ones are still looking out for us and they are right here with us. There are many reasons for our deceased loved ones to communicate with us, from offering comfort and reassurance during our time of grief to giving advice about a decision we have to make. The spirit realm can communicate with those in the physical realm, but it tends to be in subtle ways.
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