Confidence is imperative to having a beautiful, fulfilling, and happy life.
I was at a very low point in my life in my early twenties due to a violent attack and self sabotage by comparing myself to others. I thought horrible things about myself.
Who wants to be friends with a broken person?
How can anyone love me?
I'm so scared to try anything new.
Why bother?
Sound familiar?
We'll, I'm going to tell you that I just got tied of myself and my loneliness. I needed a change and I started reading everything I could to help me. My Mom would tell me that I'm perfect the way that I am, but you see, the self talk was stronger than anyone's view of me or any compliments. I needed to believe it first. So, I started putting into action what I was reading and I slowly gained the confidence I needed to love myself and chase my dreams.
This is what I learned and gained mega love and confidence.
Stop Caring What People Say
This was a hard one for me. I had irrational thinking and believed that everyone was judging me. Thinking this way negatively impacts our self-confidence and it's just not true. Will people say things and judge, yes, however, I learned that what people say is a reflection of WHAT THEY FEEL ABOUT THEMSELVES. Boom!
Use Positive Affirmations
Affirmations and mantras are simple yet powerful tools to help us improve our self-esteem. I use positive self-talk everyday to reinforce positive thinking. Some examples are -
I AM Loved
I AM Enough
I AM Happy
I AM Strong
I AM Capable
I AM Awesome
I AM Reaching My Goals
I AM Building The Life I Was Meant To Live
Write these down on a sticky note, phone background, or erasable markers on the mirror. Speak the positive affirmations several times a day, and watch how this all comes true. First we must speak, then believe it, then live it.
Self-Love
No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes because we are human. It is irrational to believe that we need to be “perfect”. We just need to strive to be the best version of ourselves. Self-love is the best love. In order to feel our best we need to prioritize our physical and mental well-being and do things that make us feel happy and healthy.
Ways to have Self-Love
Spa Day
Exercise
Use products that help us look and feel our best
Dress in a way that makes us look and feel really good
Go outside and enjoy some nice weather
Visit places that makes our soul happy
List Accomplishments
I have a huge list of everything that I'm proud of accomplishing.
Reflecting on accomplishments daily, big and small, easy and hard, helps us realize just how awesome we are.
No Negativity! Only Positive Vibes
Get rid of negativity! Negative people, situations, and habits, let them go! When we catch ourselves feeling poorly, think about what is causing that feeling. Once we recognize that, we can take steps to remove the negativity from your life. Only allow positive vibes into our lives. Supportive friends and family. Healthy work environment. Lots of what makes us feel happy.
Push Through The Comfort Zone
Pushing ourselves to be more, we can accomplish things we always wanted. We can be proud of ourselves and be confident in our capabilities. To push the comfort zone, do one thing a day that makes us uncomfortable and to grow. Make sure to not do anything unsafe or distressing, we don't want to get hurt, just grow stronger and more intelligent. Just do it, whether we are successfully or not, be proud for trying, and that my friend builds confidence.
Live The Life We Want
When we start living by our values and passions, we are empowering our best self and boosting confidence. When we show others what our standards are, what we will and will not tolerate, and how we want to be treated, then others will see a bold, confident, true to self, person and we will be respected for it. What are your values, standards, and passions?
Help Others
Nothing builds confidence like helping others, giving back, or paying it forward. This makes me feel awesome, my heart swells, and I feel so happy. Lifting others up and just knowing we made an impact on someone's life is deeply fulfilling. This can be anything from volunteering at non-profit organizations, checking on friends and family, to helping the elderly cross the street.
Once we gain confidence, we can do anything we want, be anything we want, and live the life we are meant to live.
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