I posted this on Facebook too my frogs and i just wanted to add it to my blog because this really moved me and got the juice flowing.
I am really enjoying exploring Oregon and how vastly different each area is. This Labor Day Weekend, we went from 100° in the interior of Florence and ended up today with 50° on the coast in Brandon, less than 75 miles away. Mike and I were so funny, literally adding layer after layer to stay warm.
This reminds me that change is inevitable and growth is optional. To grow we must see the value in our own self to be able to add value to our lives and others.
Socrates said in his guiding principle, “Know thyself.”
The Tao Te Ching stated, “Knowing others is intelligence, knowing yourself is true wisdom.”
William Shakespeare wrote, “This above all, to thyne own self be true.
This last year has really changed me, not only because I lost my parents, I lost the only connection that I ever had with my brother, I sold my family home, and we put our boat on the market. That is so much loss, however, I am unbelievably blessed with some wonderful cousins, that have weathered what I'm gong through, and I have the most amazing friends.
Oh my goodness, there is so much love here with two beautiful souls. They were truly twin flames and could not live without each other. I love and miss them so be very much.
My brother is another story.
You see, my brother and I are less than two years apart in age, but we have nothing in common, except our parents, and now they are both gone, so there is nothing connecting us. He treated my Mom and Dad so poorly through years of drug addiction, foul language, entitlement attitude, and disrespect. My parent were amazing and he mistreated them. They did not deserve this behavior from him. My brother has always been jealous of me. I started working at thirteen, and I've worked hard for everything that I have, even my first car I trasferred into my name, after I got some credit, so that my parents ddin't have to pay for it. I bought my own clothes when I was in high school. I bought all of my furniture myself in my first apartment. My brother was given everything, multiple cars, the best clothes, the best of everything, so I just don't know why there was always a meaness he's always had towards me.
So since elementary school, I went my way and he went his. We saw each other at Mom and Daddy's house during holidays and such, but that's it.
My brother started his drug rehab career at sixteen and my parents paid for him to go to different rehabs for at least the past thirty years, so probably twenty rehabs in several different states, because he got kicked out or left all of them. You see after someone is an adult, they can walk right out of any hospital or drug treatment center. I know because I've talked to several lawyers over the years trying to help my brother. The only way he could involuntarily be committed into a hospital is because of a mental illness, he would have to poses a real and present threat of substantial harm to himself or to others. My brother met with at least three therapist and convinced all of them that he was fine and didn't need help. In my mind, doing drugs to that extent is harmful to yourself, but that is cleary not the law. I have no idea where he is now or where he's been for the last twenty years, and this is the way it is.
I am growing by learning more about planes of consciousness and existence, multiple densities, twin flames, mediums, law of attraction, God, the Universe, how we are all connected, and above all, how ultimately powerful we are at being our own creators.
But, I have so much more to learn. With the grief and stress over this last year, it was a real struggle to hold myself together. There's no way I could have done this without Mike. He's my superhero that has loved me no matter what I was going through, how I acted out in grief and frustration, and of course when I cried so many times.
Now it's time for me to learn more about this new version of me, grow some more, and learn to give back to Mike, because he needs to refill his cup. I am now going to focus on healing, being patient with myself, Mike and others around me, and unconditionally giving Mike whatever he needs because that's what we do, we take care of each other. I am in a place again where I need to heal and recover so I will definitely reread the book I wrote Broken To Blissful that helped me to recover from a very traumatic event in my twenty's.
A note to my beautiful Facebook friends: Thanks for reading until the end, I know it was a lot. It started as one statement and just grew to what I needed to release. Thank you for being here for me, I can not tell you how much you all are appreciated and I love you! 💋
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